Tears and 13.2

I was an emotional bitch this week. I just couldn't take it anymore. All this stress, all this pressure that I had put on myself for the last couple of weeks got to me. And all the emotions, all the feelings, all the love/hate relationship I have with crossfit came out this week. It was shit. And I don't even know why I put so much pressure on myself, I'm not even going to regionals.... What's the point?

I totally broke down. No I am not PMSing you jerk. Anyways, I cried. Like a shit load of tears came running down my face. And it wasn't the same tears that come running down your face when your in the hardest workout you've ever done. These were real tears. Tears I haven't had in forever. Tears that wouldn't stop. And probably tears that no one would ever understand.

I was there, talking to Mike, and they just came up real fast and didn't stop. Poor Mike, I'm sorry. I don't know if I was sad, mad, pissed off, angry or whatever, but I wasn't the happy Kate I usually am.

Yes, I do have emotions people. I don't cry often, but I do sometimes. And when that happens, it's like : shit.

I couldn't even explain why I was so mad, why I was crying. But I was. And you know, when your not okay, and people keep asking you "are you okay?" and then you lie straight to their faces and say "yeah, I'm totally fine", and it kind of makes the whole situation even worst?! No ? Is that only me? Anyways, that's what happened. Sorry for lying to you people. And I appreciate your caring, I do, I really do. But I'm just not the one to talk about my emotions very much. So the lucky one who got me to open up was Mike. I don't know why I chose him, but I did. Thank you for listening and not judging me Mike.

So on to more happy things, 13.2 is officialy over. Am I satisfied with my score? Not really. I wanted 9 rounds, I fell short and got 8 and 2 shoulder to over head. Did I give it everything I had? I think I did. I kept a good pace throughout the WOD, and did all my reps legit. Those box jumps were so freeking hard. My lungs and throat were not appreciating 13.2 at all. And my calves, let's talk about that. Hollyyyy Molllyyyy, my calves are soooooo sore. I did the WOD on saturday and they are still sore. It's ridiculous! I can't even walk properly.

What did I learn after 13.2?

• My cardio sucks. Will start running, once my calves don't hurt!
• Step ups seem to be faster then box jumps...
• I don't train like I compete, and this is a very bad thing. I should be training like I compete.
• Crossfit makes me an emotional girl. 
• Too many people are competitve and shouldn't be. (I know, I learned that in 13.1. But again)
• I enjoy being cracked by the chiropractor, Thanks Sean Landry. 
• Breathing during the WOD, slows you down. Don't breathe.
• 75 pounds deadlift get heavy after a couple of reps...
• Having people scream at you, in your face, is a little overwhelming...

Remember last week when I spoke about how spring was just around the corner? Well guess what, Mother nature hates me. 

I was ready for summer, What the Funk?!?!

I guess I'll just enjoy skiing a little more.

Here's some really awesome, amazing news! I NOW HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE! How freeking cool is that ?? Yes yes, a facebook page for my blog, the one you are reading right at this moment! I'll be posting every blog posts there, pictures, videos, some random stuff, dance moves, thoughts, random thoughts, WODS, food I eat, recipes I liked, people I like, songs I like, movies I like, pretty much everything I think of will be on my Facebook page : KagZter! So make sure after you read this amazing blog to go like my page! I feel so popular! haha Already 160 likes!!!!! Woot Woot! And you are the only people who can make this page even better!!!! So go on like like like. I wish there was a love button! Although, this doesn't mean you don't share my posts anymore eh!!

Here's a funny story, when I created the page, I said I was a professional dancer! hahahaha, I'm sooooo funny! I really don't take myself too seriously.

OH MY GOD! PALEOMG LIKED ANOTHER ONE OF MY PICTURES!!!!!! I LOVE JULI BAUER!!

PALEOMG meat loaf! deeeelicious (famous picture)

So, I'm nervous! 13.3 just came out, aaaannndddd, this will prove to me if i am in better shape then last year! Last year I got to the rings and had 20 seconds to pretend to do a muscle up! haha! I still can't do muscle ups, so I guess we shall see if my training has been efficient! I don't think a muscle up will happen, but I believe in positive thinking!!!! Maybe I'll have 2 minutes to hang from the rings! Who knows!

Let's crush it fellow crossfitters!!!! This is going to be fun !!!! So many exclamations !!!!!! I guess I'm excited!

I have officially decided to have fun with this workout, let's see how that goes. And I've also thought about my whole melt down, and I've come to the conclusion, that this might be a good thing. This might be a realization for me, that I actually care about crossfit, that I actually really love crossfit, that I actually want to be a better crossfitter and that sucking at crossfit just isn't going to cut it for me. I want to be a better version of myself, a better athlete, the best I can be, and I know I can be better, stronger, faster and more skilled. So I'm back on the road, back on the way to the top, to find the ultimate happy healthy Kate. Strength doesn't come from winning, it is your struggles that build your strength. 

Let's GO!

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KagZter
xoxo