Weaknesses

Sup!

I love crossfit, I really do. It's fullfilling. After a long day of school, or working at the hospital, I get to the gym with no energy and no motivation whatso ever, and I see my friends there, they're all pumped up for a good kick ass workout. And that's all I need, right there, the smiles of satisfaction on their faces, because they either just finished some crazy ass workout, or they know what their about to do. I used the word kick ass alot in the last couple of sentences, my bad! I also love the half naked bodies, it's inviting. I want to be part of that, have that smile on my face, have that satifaction, have my head held high, being proud of myself, have confidence and walking out of the gym knowing I actually did something today. I love crossfit. People that do crossfit are awesome. That's a fact.


I hate crossfit, I really do. I swear alot when I WOD. That's not cool. I also feel drunk sometimes when I WOD. That is not cool at all, especially when your throwing 100 pounds over your head. I'm always out of breath. I try different positions to see if I can breathe easier, and they never work. I am NEVER in a comfort zone. My hands rip open and bleed almost everytime I hang on that pullup bar, and when I grab the barbell. I have bruises all over my body. I am always in pain, because of a workout. And when there is something I can't do, I just want to cry. Because, not being able to do a workout as RX, is not cool, you look dumb, you look stupid and you look weak. And that does not bring out any confidence. I also get really mad at myslef. And when I say mad, I mean it, you do not want to be in my way, when I am mad. I am always covered in chalk, and that ruins my sexy workout clothes...

I am strong, very strong. I never knew I could do olympic weigth lifting before I did crossfit. I now clean and jerk, snatch, dead lift, I do hang power cleans, push presses, thrusters, I do overhead squats, front squats, and really heavy back squats. Before crossfit, I would never have thought I would one day be squatting over 200 pounds. And I am. I do hand release pushups. Yes, guy pushups. I do kettle bell swings, really heavy kettle bell swings. I do turkish get ups. Really heavy turkish get ups. I also lift heavier weights then most guys in my gym. Not only do I lift heavier then them, I'm also faster at lifting heavy weights then those bicep curlers. No I do not do bicep curls. Sorry, but not sorry. I do box jumps, higher then my waist, multiple times,very fast. I do sit ups, like there's no tomorow. I do back extensions more times then you can imagine. I do lunges with plates over my head, to the point where I feel my butt grow big (yes bigger then it already is). I do pistols on a kettle bell. I run... not as fast as I wish I could, but I run with sandbags on my shoulders, and 20 pound vest on my body, just for the heck of it. I do much more, but I think you get it. I like lifting heavy things.

I am weak, very weak. I will not be using the word "can't" because I know that I will be able to do these, one day. But I will tell you this. I am unable to do pullups continuously. I hate burpees. I am unable to do real handstand push ups, I am unable to do fast, continuous toes to bar, I am unable to do burpees without swearing. I am unable to do ring dips, unable to do muscle ups. I am unable to do handstand pushups in rings. I try to kip and butterfly, but I fail everytime. I do not walk on my hands. I do not climb ropes. I run as fast as I can, but I am unable to run below the hour for a 10km run. My back hurts when I row more then 1km. I skip the rope, but my forearms are unable to go past 40 double unders straight. After almost every workout, my entire body shakes. I cry, because the workout was hard. I hate burpees. I am scared of every workout I try. I get nervous, and I have to pee before every WOD. I have a fear of not finishing the workout. Not being able to do all of this, and more, makes me non confident, makes me scared of crossfit. I am afraid of crossfit. Oh, and I hate burpees.

There is much more I cannot do. But everyday, is a new day. And everyday, I try. I try. I try. And one day, I will be able to do all of these movements. I will persevere.

You ask me why I do this crossfit thing, my anwser to you is simple: Everyday that I try to work on my weaknesses, I get  stronger physically and mentally. And when I got my first strict pull up, I was happy. I had succeeded. And when I got to do 4 toes to bar in a row, I was really happy, and I told everybody! And when I rowed 5000m in 23 minutes, and my back was in pain, I was sweating happyness. And when I ran my first 10km in 1hour, I was exhausted with happyness. And the more I am scared of a workout, the more I want to succeed at it, and the more satisfaction I have when i'm done. And when there's one minute left to the workout, and in my head I'm saying I can't do this anymore, every person beside me is telling me I CAN. And when I can't breathe after my workouts, because I gave my all, everybody says GOOD JOB, with a smile on their faces. That's why I do crossfit.
I've seen improvement in all my movements, since day one. Everyday, I see improvement. Everyday, I smile because of crossfit. Everyday.

And if you still don't understand what all this means, you should come see us workout. Because no matter how I try to explain it to you, you will never understand the emotions behind it all, behind the WODS, behind the camaderie, that brings us all together.

My weaknesses, my strenghs, my crossfit friends make me a better person. They make me smile. They help me get better everyday. They make me do things I never thought I would do.  they make me achieve something new everyday. They push my limits. Crossfit makes it hard to beleive that there are any limits.

I love crossfit. That's a fact.

Late note: I wrote this post on sunday april 15th. On april 17th I was able to do 5 butterfly pullups in a row. BOOM.

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xoxo
KagZter